Loving the Hate

October 26, 2011

Life is so precious when you think. It is not able to rewind, and it never pauses. It is a truly amazing gift. We have to treasure it while can, even the times we regret and feel pain. I can picture moments but I cannot relive. You can’t jar happiness and open it when you are down. Life is its own category. Life is eternity. Looking back on the past is pointless. Looking back, you search for it. When moments come when you don’t want life, you must go on and release your fear. No one is pointless; everyone affects another.  Time is short. Don’t waste it. I look around to see memories floating in the air like bubbles ready to pop.  With the earlier conclusion of looking back with the past in mind, I do it anyway. Temptation is too strong, and I am weak.

Looking at the barstools near my wooden counter, I remember a night not too long ago. My friend and I were eating ice cream, laughing as if every breath was our last. I remember seeing the chocolate and vanilla mix of melted ice cream dripping off my spoon, and I remember so much laughter. How was I to know that my friend’s last breath would be the next day? I look at the table, how it was such a pain to clear, and how I always asked another family member to clear it. If only I could have someone to ask now. I see the bed, the bed I used to cry on when everything hurt. How was I to know that the utmost amount of pain was yet to come? Everyone is gone. I have no friends to entrust, no mother to cling to, no one. Who knew a natural disaster could cause unnatural things? Foreign emotions swelled through my veins. I never knew I could miss the simple things in life, like a kind stranger. Since they have nothing to prove, it is a very special moment. If only I had treasured it then. Now no one cares, no one trusts, and no one loves. I have learned a moral in this time of immense pain. Love the hate because without hate, there is no love. Be happy for the sad times because with sad comes happy, and love life because without life, there is no love.

-Gianna Savarese 2015

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